Hard

Day 2 tobacco free-and still craving. Billy said he never craved another sip of beer. I think this must prove either men are stronger in some ways than women ot his faith was stronger than mine.
I like instant gratification like I want all the money I am going to save RIGHT NOW! And all that know me know I would go out and buy a new carton of my favorite smokes. so I know this is the way it has to be.
Yesterday I went out to lunch with a friend, another smoker. I arrived first so I decided to go to non-smoking section, so not to be tempted. Well my friend arrived and guess what SHE is now wearing a nicotine patch. Yes, there is a God and He answers prayers.
This is also a period in my life where I am really working on my relationship with God. I have found a Baptist Church I really like. The people are wonderful and the pastor speaks directly to my heart. So what is the problem? I am Presbyterian and have been baptized by christening, and to join a Baptist church you need to be submerged and Baptized. I feel in my heart that God accepts me as I am, and to render to being submerged in a Baptism pool, would make my entire life as a Christian an untruth. If this is crazy then I need someone to point this out to me.
I feel like if I had not been so vocal about this fact with my late husband, our lives may have been different. Billy was born and raised as a Baptist. I did offer to go with him to church but never offered to join. So we mostly stayed at home on Sundays. We prayed togeather many times and shared beliefs. However, We failed our son because WE failed to make the church a family tradition. This is something I take to the Lord every night of my life. My family made sure our son was raised in the church, and he still attends regularly. But our lives may have been so different. Some of the choices my son has made might have been different, had we attended church as a family!
This presents another problem, because the Bible states when a woman marries she leaves the home of her parents, She also is to follow his God, who is the same God I worship just different
churches. Does this mean I committed a sin, by keeping my beliefs?
Well, this is enough for today. I need to hang tight without nicotine, so support and prayers are appreciated.